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skip to content notorious rbf thoughts from my back porch menu and widgets search for: recent posts the accidental accomplice stretching the truth folded hands of grace the time it passed quickly longer than the road recent comments locksmith on the accidental accomplice zetaclear mouth spray on the accidental accomplice locksmith on the accidental accomplice yahaoyulepingtai.com on the accidental accomplice martha waller on the accidental accomplice archives september 2018 august 2018 july 2018 categories family life feminism metoo politics uncategorized meta register log in entries rss comments rss wordpress.org the accidental accomplice like many women across america, i have spent the last few weeks feeling a whole spectrum of emotions brought up by the kavanaugh hearings. i cannot help but see myself in the accusers who have come forward to speak out about their traumas. i was the victim of sexual assault during my college years. i grew up among the monied and connected washington private school set. i could probably play a pretty good game of “six degrees of separation” with both judge kavanaugh and dr. blasey ford. my teen years had many episodes of too much alcohol and unsafe sex at unsupervised parties. i have long recognized that i was lucky to have avoided some terrible consequences that could have befallen me during those years. i always had a pretty good sense of when to stop drinking. i had a couple of committed, loving boyfriends who treated me well. i went to a boarding school which enabled me to safely stumble along to my dorm without having to get in a car with someone who had been drinking. some of my friends from the era have not fared as well. i lost more than one childhood classmate to fatal car accidents in which a pack of drunken teenagers never made it home. in recent years some of my high school drinking companions have died as the result of the long-terms effects of alcoholism. this experience has brought back so much that is painful to so many. my own assault has of course been very present in my mind, but i have actually been more surprised by something else that has risen to the forefront. i have found myself asking one question over and over again. “am i leland keyser?” ms. keyser, you may recall, was the high school friend purported to be present on the night that brett kavanaugh assaulted dr. ford. presumably, she was elsewhere in the house, drinking, flirting with boys, oblivious to the peril that her friend was in. she has clearly stated that she doesn’t remember the event, which is unsurprising given that nothing of major import happened to her that night. but she has also clearly stated that she believes dr. ford. i am sure this is because she remembers the environment which set the stage for the assault. i have suddenly been overcome by a memory of my own that i had put aside for a number of years. a high school friend of mine, with whom i have stayed in regular touch as an adult, once told me in passing that decades earlier a young man we knew had forced himself on her one night. i don’t know why i didn’t stop the conversation in its tracks and ask her to elaborate. i can remember clearly where we were and what we were doing when she told me and for some reason i felt it better to gloss over it. i think i made some kind of lame statement about what crazy times they were back then. it didn’t make sense to me that this had really happened. i would be willing to bet that i was there that night. i dated a guy who was close friends with the young man, and we made up a drinking foursome on more than one occasion. i was probably in my boyfriend’s arms, completely unaware of the trauma that my dearest friend was enduring. as close as i thought we were, sharing our deepest secrets, trusting each other with our lives, she didn’t feel safe to call out for help or tell me that night. or the next night. or for years later. and when she did tell me, i didn’t take it in. i didn’t want to take it in. i have wanted to call her all week and ask her to tell me the story. i have held off, knowing that each survivor must tell her story in her own way, in her own time. each of us who lives with the aftermath of sexual predation of any kind carries a reservoir of guilt, fear, shame and anger that drives us forward and holds us back at the same time. no one should be forced out of the shadows unless and until she is ready. but i find myself hoping she is reading this now. i want her to know that i believe her, that i love her, and that i am sorry. i am sorry that i was not able to protect her. i am sorry that i didn’t quickly recognize her suffering. i am sorry that she has carried that night with her all these years. among the many thousand shocks that the kavanaugh accusations have wrought, most shocking to me has been to hear women who disbelieve the accusers. i have come across females suggesting that if the assault occurred, dr. ford must be held accountable for being underaged at a beer party with horny pubescent boys. other women have even suggested that “sexual horseplay” is just an expected rite of passage for the red blooded american male and should be tolerated. misogyny can be as deeply entrenched in women as it is in men. we don’t yet know if kavanaugh will be allowed to ascend to a lifetime appointment on the highest court of the land. we can only hope that if he does, it will propel a wave of motivated women, who will work to change our society, into elected office and positions of power. regardless of the outcome here, we must band together now to protect and affirm each other. we must create a space where our young girls can safely report to one another, so they don’t find themselves someday looking into a murky past wondering – “am i leland kayser?” share this: click to share on twitter (opens in new window) click to share on facebook (opens in new window) click to share on tumblr (opens in new window) posted on september 29, 2018 september 29, 2018 categories feminism , metoo , politics , uncategorized tags metoo , survivors 7 comments on the accidental accomplice stretching the truth pretend: prəˈtend/ (verb) to give a false appearance of being, possessing, or performing to make believe to claim, represent, or assert falsely “expelliarmus!” “stupify!” curses and charms echo through the house as my children, toting magic wands, stalk each other from room to room. i turn to retrieve something from the refrigerator just in time to see a cloaked figure pass noiselessly through the kitchen on his way to the dining room. soon, a battle commences near the china cabinet… again. “i got you! you’re frozen!” “no, i’m not! you missed because i was using my invisible shield.” “that’s no fair…mom? is he allowed to have an invisible shield?” i am not getting involved; the intricate rules of imagination are too much of a minefield for me to navigate. my home is the setting of constant drama. there are large scale props, frequent costume changes, foreign accents and secret languages. my daughter often appears with her own security detail – two young men in dark suits and sunglasses flanking her every move. periodically i am handed a walkie-talkie so that i can be contacted at a moment’s notice by the guards patrolling the swing-set area. i love listening to my children in their imaginary worlds. the rules of alternate reality are taken very seriously around here. one of my children insists on accuracy, whether it be following the laws of physics or having just the right type of tool for any given task. the other two are more fluid in their interpretation of the pretend world. after all, if you are bunny rabbit who speaks english, who says you can’t also know how to drive a car? i have a memory of standing in my childhood bathroom, looking in the mirror, delivering a monologue of tragic loss. my imaginary parents had died in some horrible accident and i was orphaned and alone, forced to carry on bravely in the world. i wept real tea

URL analysis for notoriousrbf.com

https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/08/08/stretching-the-truth/
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/21/endless-highway/?share=tumblr
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/23/come-on-home/
https://notoriousrbf.com/comments/feed/
https://notoriousrbf.com/tag/parents/
https://notoriousrbf.com/tag/aging/
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/24/longer-than-the-road/
https://notoriousrbf.com/page/2/
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/19/castles-made-of-sand/?share=tumblr
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/20/beautiful-secrets/?share=facebook
https://notoriousrbf.com/tag/cancer/
https://notoriousrbf.com/wp-login.php?action=register
https://notoriousrbf.com/2018/07/23/come-on-home/?share=facebook
https://notoriousrbf.com/tag/children/
https://notoriousrbf.com/tag/games/

Whois Information

Whois is a protocol that is access to registering information. You can reach when the website was registered, when it will be expire, what is contact details of the site with the following informations. In a nutshell, it includes these informations;

Domain Name: NOTORIOUSRBF.COM
Registry Domain ID: 2291341853_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.fastdomain.com
Registrar URL: http://www.fastdomain.com
Updated Date: 2018-07-29T15:58:39Z
Creation Date: 2018-07-29T15:58:39Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2019-07-29T15:58:39Z
Registrar: FastDomain Inc.
Registrar IANA ID: 1154
Registrar Abuse Contact Email:
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone:
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Name Server: NS1.BLUEHOST.COM
Name Server: NS2.BLUEHOST.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN Whois Inaccuracy Complaint Form: https://www.icann.org/wicf/
>>> Last update of whois database: 2018-12-26T05:40:48Z <<<

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Registrars.

  REGISTRAR FastDomain Inc.

SERVERS

  SERVER com.whois-servers.net

  ARGS domain =notoriousrbf.com

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

  NAME notoriousrbf.com

  CHANGED 2018-07-29

  CREATED 2018-07-29

STATUS
clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited

NSERVER

  NS1.BLUEHOST.COM 162.159.24.80

  NS2.BLUEHOST.COM 162.159.25.175

  REGISTERED yes

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