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always perfectly imperfect home about it’s okay to blink. september 10, 2015 · by leah m. adams · leave a comment earlier this week, a post appeared in my facebook newsfeed that said something along the lines of "thanks, now i know what each of your children look like and what grade they are in." as if i needed a reminder that i'm smack dab in the middle of "club 30", the prevalance of back to school photos are proof – i'm a parent, and so are most of the rest of you. i like the back to school photos, and i'm entertained by the range of effort from "this is my kid on the first day of school" to "this is my child's full name, age, teacher, likes, dislikes and career aspirations as of this very moment." what pains me are the "don't blink! it really does go by too fast!" posts that go along with it. it's not that i don't have moments where i feel exactly the same way. but "don't blink" is a sentiment that, for me, is often riddled with guilt and thoughts of coulda shoulda woulda. it's unfair to feel that way – unfair to me, and to the tiny humans. i am here. for the important things, the semi-important things, and also the mind-numbingly mundane things. my kids will grow up knowing they were loved and well cared for. but it has to be okay to blink. it has to be okay to take my eyes off of them. time is going to pass, regardless. if i spend all eighteen of my years with them under my roof "not blinking", what happens to me? what happens to my marriage, my friendships, and me without them, when they are gone? blink. look away. then refocus. you will be amazed by what happened when you looked away, and what you're able to notice that's new because you blinked. filed under: uncategorized · what kind of party is five? september 8, 2015 · by leah m. adams · leave a comment when i found out i was unexpectedly expecting baby #3, part of me began mourning the loss of the family of four. we had just reached "the sweet spot" with the big kids – everyone was using the toilet on their own, everyone was sleeping through the night, r and i were beginning to remember what we were like as people independent of "mumma" and "dadda." it was finally getting easier. and then, just like that, we were starting over. it goes without saying that we love the "bonus baby" and i am willing to bet that my biggest regret as a family of four would have been that we never had a third baby. we were meant to be a party of five, although i'm going to go ahead and put "party" in air quotes until further notice. because the stage we are in now is decidedly not the sweet spot. whatever the opposite of the sweet spot is, that is where you will find us. i'm going to go ahead and set up camp here, because we may be here awhile. and this is what it looks like: no one gets along with everyone. oldest and youngest are in a semi-permanent state of mutual admiration. middle is sometimes granted a temporary pass, but rarely from both at the same time. i have a better chance of winning the lottery than i do of all three of my children getting along. no one is on the same page. at the amusement park, the oldest can ride adult rides but not kiddie rides. the middle can ride kiddie rides only. the youngest cannot ride any of the rides, but rather than sitting in her stroller she'd prefer to push it into the back of my legs repeatedly while she waits, athankyouverymuch. even if oldest and middle could hypothetically ride the same ride, the oldest refuses to ride with the middle. this is one example. i could give you six dozen more, but i won't. you get the idea. it's like those horrible word problems i vaguely remember from math class, except then at least i always had the option to leave it blank and go on to the next. no one hears my voice until it reaches this volume. sometimes i look at r and say, "can you hear me? you can? am i speaking english? oh, i am? you're sure? just checking. because the kids only hear me when i'm this loud." and then it's "geez mum, why are you always yelling at us?" no one gets what they want when they want it. my catch phrase is "give me a minute." (spoiler alert! it's actually somewhere between five minutes and never.) if one child is getting something, it is most likely because one or more someone elses is going without. i've never worked in the medical profession but i imagine this is what triage is like – no one gets what they want but hopefully everyone gets what they need. eventually. this is why, if you'd asked me, i would have talked myself into the family of four and out of the party of five. because i like to feel like i'm in control and i do not like to be outnumbered and overwhelmed. but here i am – with one big, one middle and one little – learning to let go of the little things and trying to keep track of the big things. the day will come where we are once again in "the sweet spot." and it will be even sweeter, because now we have a whole extra person to love. filed under: family dynamics , kids being kids , letting go , tiny humans · i’m not ready september 1, 2015 · by leah m. adams · 1 comment my biggest little girl is starting kindergarten this week. all summer, people have been asking if we're ready, and all summer we have answered the same way. a says "i'm so excited!", and i say "she's so ready." what i do not say is "i'm not ready." i was not ready to send t , but i thought it would be different – i thought i would be different – with a. it is not. what will be easier is sending her to a teacher i know, in a class filled with children we know the majority of. i know so much more now than i knew two years ago. it should be easier. it is not. a is my sweet, sensitive one. she does everything big – high highs and low lows, often within moments of each other, all day long. i worry about a being stuck in the middle, always tagging along with the older or the younger, rarely getting her own thing. as a result, she is the easy one in many ways but she's also the one who ends up just going along. i sometimes tease that she is the one who would go with a stranger who offered her a lollipop – because a is sweet, and trusting, and used to going along. i fear that in school a may not listen to herself because the voices of others are so often louder. mostly i am afraid of sending my girl out into a world i have not prepared her for. i have her things ready to go – her supplies are in her classroom, her backpack and coordinating lunchbox hanging on her hook, her new clothes washed and put away and i even sewed her a new dress. i think i am hoping that if i do these things – if she has all the things she needs – she will feel how much i love her and how i am probably thinking of her at that very moment. but those are just things . i am scared of the things she cannot see but will certainly feel. what if i have not done enough, said enough, taught her enough to prepare her for the hard things that are surely coming her way? i said to my sister once that having a daughter ruins you, even if in the best possible way. i fear for my girls in ways that i do not fear for their brother. the responsibility of raising women weighs heavy on my heart and mind. i spent so much time choosing her things for school because it will matter. i have spent five years explaining what it means to be brave and kind, and how sometimes other people will not be either of those things but she will have to be anyway. i have spent five years telling her she can so that maybe she will not believe it when she starts hearing she cannot. i have spent five years – her whole entire life – building her up in anticipation of a world that will try to tear her down in ways that her brother will never experience. i hope kindergarten will not ruin my daughter. i hope she is as brave and as kind as she knows how to be. i hope that when kids are mean, when she feels sad or when someone says she can't, it is my voice she hears louder than anyone – "you are brave, you are kind, you can do and be anything. you

URL analysis for alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com

http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/the-house-that-built-me/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/about-always-perfectly-imperfect/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/what-i-have-already-learned-from-kindergarten/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/please-excuse-the-mess/#respond
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/category/what-we-believe-in/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/category/letting-go/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/its-okay-to-blink/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/category/around-the-house/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/category/tiny-humans/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/tag/ew/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/im-not-ready/#comments
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/tag/silver-linings/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/tag/kindergarten-already/
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/the-reasons-im-not-writing/#comments
http://www.alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com/category/kids-being-kids/

Whois Information

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Domain Name: ALWAYSPERFECTLYIMPERFECT.COM
Registry Domain ID: 1757293958_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.godaddy.com
Registrar URL: http://www.godaddy.com
Updated Date: 2018-11-06T11:19:21Z
Creation Date: 2012-11-05T21:58:28Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2019-11-05T21:58:28Z
Registrar: GoDaddy.com, LLC
Registrar IANA ID: 146
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: 480-624-2505
Domain Status: clientDeleteProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
Domain Status: clientRenewProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientRenewProhibited
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Domain Status: clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited
Name Server: NS1.LOCALPRESS360.COM
Name Server: NS2.LOCALPRESS360.COM
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN Whois Inaccuracy Complaint Form: https://www.icann.org/wicf/
>>> Last update of whois database: 2019-08-12T03:58:15Z <<<

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  REGISTRAR GoDaddy.com, LLC

SERVERS

  SERVER com.whois-servers.net

  ARGS domain =alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

  NAME alwaysperfectlyimperfect.com

  CHANGED 2018-11-06

  CREATED 2012-11-05

STATUS
clientDeleteProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientDeleteProhibited
clientRenewProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientRenewProhibited
clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
clientUpdateProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientUpdateProhibited

NSERVER

  NS1.LOCALPRESS360.COM 198.57.209.157

  NS2.LOCALPRESS360.COM 198.57.215.243

  REGISTERED yes

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